Wednesday in the 13th Week of Ordinary Time, July 3, 2024

John 20, 24-29

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail-marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

John describes St. Thomas as a highly conflicted person, just as he and the other Evangelists portray St. Peter.  In the Gospel Reading for his feast day, we see Thomas with the other Apostles holed up in the house where they had eaten with Jesus just a couple of days ago.  They all came back to the house at different times after Jesus was arrested and they had scattered.  They came back to the house to seek safety in their company when they could have fled out of the region and gone back to Galilee.  It was the memory of Jesus that brought them back together.  Even with his horrific Death they remained devoted to him.  They stayed indoors all of Saturday and Sunday.  Thomas was still with the others when Mary Magdalene came to them shortly after daybreak and told the Apostles what she had seen and heard.  He remained in the house when Peter and John ran out to look for themselves, and he heard their report of the incredibly empty tomb with the burial cloths left behind, folded up.  At some point during the afternoon he went out, possibly to purchase food for himself and the others.  St. John tells us that they had stayed inside the house out of fear of the Jewish leaders, so if Thomas went to buy food, he was acting with the same courage as when he urged the Apostles, “Let us also go, that we may die with him” (John 11, 16), when the Lord wanted to return to Judea not long after the people had tried to stone him there.  Upon his return a few hours later, he found his fellow Apostles transformed.  No longer grief-stricken and laden with guilt, they nearly danced with joy.  He could barely make out their words because of their excitement.  When he finally understood that they were saying that they had seen the Lord, he thought them hysterical.  They kept insisting that it was true, and when they calmed down a bit they told him all that had happened.

“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail-marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”  Thomas refused to believe what the Apostles told him.  He did not believe them because his heart was broken.  Even if it had not been, the news that Jesus was risen after such a Death as he had suffered would have come across as a cruel joke.  And yet, Thomas did not leave.  He did not head back to Galilee to resume his trade.  He stayed and prayed with the others, still only venturing outside only when necessary.  Jesus had not told the Apostles if or when they would see him after Easter Sunday, but the Eleven stayed together there in the house.

“Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst.”  One moment he was not there, the next, he was.  He appeared without the blaring of trumpets or the rumbling of thunder.  He appeared without the announcement of angels.  It was the same Jesus, only gashed by his terrible wounds.  The Apostles would have fallen to their knees while Thomas remained standing in stupefaction.  The eyes of the Lord met the eyes of Thomas.  “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” That is, Persevere in belief”, according to the Greek verb tense.  The response that Thomas gives, “My Lord and my God”, shows the depth and clarity of his belief.  

The fact that Thomas did not leave the Apostles on Easter Sunday tells us how greatly he loved the Lord and how he nourished even the slightest splinter of hope that the others were telling him the truth that Jesus had risen.  He inspires us to believe and to hope in Jesus when it is hardest simply out of our love for the Lord so that we will one day look into the Lord’s eyes and we too will say in awe, “My Lord and my God!”