The Feast of the Holy Family, Friday, December 30, 2022

Colossians 3, 12–21

Brothers and sisters: Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged. 

The Feast of the Holy Family is normally celebrated on the Sunday following Christmas except when Christmas falls on a Sunday, meaning that the Feast of Mary, the Mother of God, also falls on a Sunday.  In that case, which occurs this year, the Feast of the Holy Family is moved to December 29.  The Feast itself is a late addition to the calendar, only added to it by Pope Benedict XV in 1921.  The purpose of the Feast is to honor the Lord Jesus within his little Family consisting of his Mother, the Virgin Mary. And his legal father, St. Joseph, who watched over him and helped him grow, and to encourage us to model our families after his.

The excerpt from St. Paul’s Letter to the Colossians used in today’s Mass is similar to the Apostle’s instructions in Ephesians 5, 21-33.  He is presenting the Church’s teaching on the relations between members of a Christian family.  We should not underestimate the necessity for him doing this because these Gentile Christians did not have Jewish tradition and culture to draw on.  That is, they did not have even the foundation for understanding how members of a Christian family should understand and act towards each other — in short, how to live as the Holy Family lived.  

He prefaces his teaching with general admonitions to the Colossians on how to live in society, particularly within their own community of believers: “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”  We should notice that he first of all reminds them that they are “God’s chosen ones”, his “elect”, chosen before the world began.  They belong to him and now should act as he directs them.  They therefore should act with one another as he has acted with them, with compassion and patience.  “And over all these put on love, that is, the bond of perfection.”  For Paul, love was the love of Christ Crucified for us which we share with one another.  It is not a mere affection or feeling but “a bond” that makes us members of one another in the Body of Jesus Christ.  Another translation of the Greek word for “bond” is “chain”, and for believers in the Lord Jesus, our chain is not one that restricts but that liberates.

“Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.”  The Greek word translated here as “subordinate” means something more like “make yourself subject to”, which is not quite the same thing.  To be “subordinate” has the sense of making oneself less than another in all things.  To “make oneself subject to” has the sense of a person placing him or herself at the service of another while remaining and being treated as an equal.  We see this is what follows the instruction to wives: “Husbands, love your wives.”  In understanding what Paul is saying we must refer back to how he understands “love”, a supernatural gift from God.  We can also look to a similar verse in Ephesians 5, 21: “Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ”, and Ephesians 5, 25: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her” — keeping in mind that out of his love for the Church, his Bride, Christ died for her.

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.”  The place of a child in the Gentile world was a matter of great uncertainty.  For example, unwanted children were left in the woods by their parents to be devoured by the beasts.  Under Roman Law, a father could kill his child up to the age of twelve and not be charged with murder.  For a certain period in Rome, if a parent was sentences to death, his wife and children were killed with him.  For the Christian, a child is a welcome sign of God’s love.  Paul teaches children to obey their parents not out of servile fear but in order to make Jesus happy, Jesus, who obeyed his parents.  Parents are also counseled not to “provoke” their children, that is, to spew their rage at them or blame them for what they have not done.  Paul repeats this counsel and adds to it in Ephesians 6, 4: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”  Teach your children who come to you from God, to serve him.

As never before in history, society is attacking and attempting to redefine the family.  That is, society is engaged in destroying that out of which it consists, for it is based on the family — and always has been — not on the individual, as it is claimed today.  It is self-destructive behavior which will lead to final disaster there is no conversion.  Let us give good example through our families of the beauty and love that are possible for anyone to have, and which will lead them to the model of all families, that of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.